Friday, May 1, 2015

"A non-traditional missionary email"

How can I make this a non-traditional missionary email that people won't just skim over? Alright, Book of Mormon language it is!


Sell Chapter 1 - Elder Sell is grieved because of the iniquity of his people. He calls them to repentance.



1 - And it came to pass, that in the second week of the fourteenth month of Elder Sell's mission, he journeyed in the land of Greeley.

2 - And the stench thereof was terrible to the smell thereof. Wherefore, many people were led away into the land northward.

3 - Now behold, Elder Sell was struggling because of the iniquity of his people, the Greeley Zone.

4 - And thus, his eyes watered his pillow by night and his voice raised high to the Heavens in prayer to Almighty God.

5 - And it came to pass, in the second week of the transfer there was to be a zone meeting where the people were to gather. 

6 - Notwithstanding the hardheartedness of his people, Elder Sell taught with as much love as he could summon, desiring the welfare of his people. Wherefore, he taught according to the Spirit which persuadeth men to do good. Now these are the words which he spoke to the people:

7 - Greeley Zone, for ye are to be called a zone. For behold, we have been given the responsibility of preaching the Gospel amongst the Greeley-ites and the Fort Morgan-ites and the Windsor-ites and all many of -ites are we to teach. Let us not be divided, wherefore, we must fall if we rely on the arm of the flesh. 

8 - My beloved brethren and sisters, let us repent and come unto Christ, who extendeth all men his everlasting grace and mercy. Seek no more to listen to unapproved music! Seek no more to gather with thine brethren when thou shalt be laboring in the vineyard! And lo, the field is white and already to harvest! Wherefore, why seek ye the things of this world? Cast your eyes round about and behold those that perish in unbelief because they know not where to go!

9 - We shall be restored to that which we desire. Righteousness for righteousness. Wickedness for wickedness. All things shall be restored unto us in the last day of judgement.

10 - I exhort you, my brethren in Christ, to turn to Him who is the author and finisher of our faith. Treasure up the words of life, yea, and sing the song of redeeming love! For behold, thy desire shall change as ye keep His commandments.

11 - I seek not for the glory and honor of the world, but for the welfare of my people. Come, let us put our shoulder to the wheel and push along.

12 - And thus it is, Amen.



Sell Chapter 2 - Elder Sell searches to find the elect.



1 - And it came to pass, being much fatigued from his journeying, Elder Sell went back to his own home.

2 - Elder Sell **dwelt in a tent.

3 - And when he had risen, he traveled to the homes of many, teaching and exhorting them to build their rock on their Redeemer, Christ the Lord.

4 - And on the Holy day of the Sabbath, which being interpreted is Sunday, he journeyed to the house of Wade.

5 - Wherefore, Wade was much confounded because of the magical herb. And this herb has been known by many in the land wither-soever Elder Sell has journeyed. 

6 - Therefore, for this cause, Elder Sell did not teach Wade because his ears were closed as to his understanding. For behold, this book cannot contain all the tangents of Wade. And they are many.

7 - And when Elder Sell's heart was depressed and he was about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted him and said, "Go amongst thy brethren Sean and Stephanie and bear with patience thine afflictions and I will give unto thee success."

8 - And it came to pass, when Elder Sell traveled to the home of Sean and Stephanie that he was warmly received. And now, their hearts were softened.

9 - Thus, Elder Sell taught them the message of the Restoration. And this is not all, for behold, there were many question answered among the people. When Sean asketh how long Elder Sell shall continue in the area, he replieth, "four weeks, but this may not be all."

10 - Then Sean, being a Gentile, gave his promise, "When thou shalt leave, thou shalt return to the land of Greeley and abide in my home, for thou art a friend, forever."

11 - And thus, by long suffering and persuasion and hardship, Elder Sell had gained the trust and friendship of one not a member of the church.

12 - And behold, this is not all the doings of Elder Sell. Yea, even an hundreth part cannot be contained in this book. A record of his proceedings shall be found on his large plates,yea, which no eye hath seen nor ear heard.

13 - Notwithstanding the trials and hardships, Elder Sell continued to be a servant of the Lord.



**JST - slept on his bed.


-E. Sell

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